Wednesday 16 August 2017

Writing Exercise 5 - Conveying Character

Take three different characters and walk them through a scene. Convey their emotional states, their jobs, and their hobbies without directly stating any of those. The scene in question: walking through a marketplace, and they need to do a dead-drop.

[From Writing Excuses 10.5: What Do You Mean My Character is Boring? - Link]

To show and not tell is something that I struggle with in writing. It's so much easier to say "Annie is confused" than describe a scene that conveys the emotion. But by doing so the reader loses his or her immersion. 

I really liked this challenge because I had no idea what a dead-drop was, after a minute of Google-fu I was both excited and a bit intimidated. I was a bit bolder this time and used a name generator to get the names of my three characters. Afterward, I just wrote spontaneously whatever my mind came up with.


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The sun kissed the skin on Reudi as he strolled around the lively market wearing only two things. Speedos and sunglasses. Oh, he was also carrying a shoddy backpack and holding a yellow surfboard but the people around him had their attention on his…proportions. They gave him judging glances mixed with awkwardness and envy which Reudi responded back with a smile as he made eye contact with some. He strolled to a food vendor and picked a fresh mango, took a sniff and exhaled deeply.

“Ma'am, your mangos are as sweet as ever!” he exclaimed, as he gave the seller a coin and then bit down on the fruit, juices flying everywhere. The woman blushed red and a small smile could be seen before she covered her face with her hands. Reudi finished the mango in place, threw the seed in a nearby trash can and moved on.

Let’s see, south west from the fruit store, behind the ice cream truck… He thought to himself as he surveyed the surrounding only to find the spot was occupied by a group of teenagers.

He marched into the group with a big smile and open arms, striking up a conversation while the people teenagers gasped in excitement and begged for autographs and photos. Reudi accepted all the requests and then invited the teenagers to an event, a few weren’t that interested and the group parted ways, Reudi with his fans and the rest waving goodbye. No one noticed that Reudi no longer carried the shoddy backpack.


Claudio treated the customers like he treated ants, with indifference at first and annoyance when they finally got his attention. He almost threw the ice cream cones on them, which made the owner livid and almost kicked Claudio from the truck. The young boy sighed as he joined his group of friends, surprised that he already got his break since he barely started. 

As Claudio explained the situation a man of godly proportions approached them, some kind of movie-star if Claudio remembers correctly, his friends knew more about them. A few of them seemed to faint as the star approached. He didn’t care so much of the movie star, his focus was more on the surfboard that the man was holding. A Weirdo Ripper, Yadin Nicoles ride of choice. 

Claudio nodded approvingly on the choice of gear before the group separated, half of them following Reudi to an event. The other half, which Claudio was part of, decided to head to the water and take a swim. Claudio adjusted his shoddy backpack and followed.


The elder known as Finlay was sunbathing before being disturbed by a group of people blocking the rays from the sun and also managing to splash water even though he had positioned himself several meters from the shore.

As he removed his sunglasses to get a closer look on who dared to disturb him, his eyes softened as he noticed it was a group of younglings, teenagers. You can’t be too angry at them, they have it difficult already, both emotionally and physically. He’s been there and knows, he’s also been on the other side, having to explain to his children about…hormones.

Finally simply gave the group a cheerful wave and returned to his sunbathing. But not even a minute managed to pass when his cell phone demanded his attention.

“I told you not to disturb me,” growled Finlay into the cell phone. “I’m sunbathing.”

“I know, just checking if the eggs have hatched,” said a nervous voice from the other side.

“I will tell when it happens,” said Finlay. “It shouldn’t take much longer, just relax and wait for a few more…” But before Finlay managed to finish his sentence, a big plastic ball attacked him.

There wasn’t much force, but the sudden attack made Finlay stagger and roll over the sand while looking around with alertness.

It was the teenagers again. They were playing around with the swim ball, throwing and passing it to each other, the only teenager that sported a backpack tried to do a kick pass but missed horribly. Instead of passing to a friend, the ball attacked an elder.

The group of teenagers ran to Finlay, asking if he was okay and said many apologies. Finlay politely said with half a smile that he was fine and that they should play more carefully and not to disturb the surroundings too much. The group apologized once more before returning to the waters with the ball.
Finlay scratched on the backside of his head while looking thoughtfully on the younglings. He then shrugged his shoulder and casually grabbed the backpack that was left in the sand while he picked up his cell phone.

“Hey, it’s King here,” said Finlay to the receiver. “The eggs have hatched.”

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